I am here to help Make sure you are READY for anal sex and walk you through how to bottom without pain for the first time.
Having sex can be a scary, nerve-racking experience. I can remember bottoming for the first time – I had absolutely no idea where to start.
As a result, it was painful, embarrassing and not very fun. But that was because I wasn’t prepared.
Below we have put together a comprehensive guide to make sure that your first time bottoming is the best that it can be!
How to Bottom Without Pain: Anal Sex for Beginners
Bottoming Should Not Hurt
Bottoming is a strange and unfamiliar experience, especially if you are a first timer. Remember, bottoming should not hurt.
In fact, it should feel great!
This is probably the biggest misconception surrounding how to bottom.
Pain is your body telling you that you are doing something wrong!
This is why understanding your body is the best way to prepare yourself.
This seems like a no-brainer but you must make sure that you clean out your colon before having sex.
Douching is by far the easiest and most thorough way to get the job done. Cleaning up beforehand will make sex more comfortable and remove any worries you might have.
The last thing you want is looming thought of a messy first time.
You can read a more in-depth guide about douching here.
Practice and Loosen Up
Before actually having sex you should first practice on your own a bit so you can get used to the sensation.
Find a private, comfortable place where you can relax. Make sure your hands are clean and your fingernails are cut.
Remember, you want to be as comfortable and clean as possible. Taking a nice, warm bath is also a great idea as it will help you relax which is what you are going for.
There are two major muscles at the entrance of the anal cavity.
The outer sphincter muscle, which for most people is relatively easy to control.
The inner sphincter is located about in inch inside that typically causes pain while bottoming. Learning to control this muscle is the key to making sex more enjoyable.
Related Stories:Choosing the Best Lube for Anal Sex
The Best Anal Dildo for Beginners
If you have ever pooped before (which I know everyone reading this has) then you already know how to relax this muscle.
Most people are unaware that they are even doing it. The key is to be able to do this same action but on command.
While pushing outward like you are going to the bathroom, slowly insert a lubricated finger. You should notice your inner muscles start to relax and open.
Once you are in, you may have a strange feeling like you need to pee. This is normal.
It is just your body’s natural reaction to an unfamiliar situation. With a few practice runs, this feeling should go away.
Once you are comfortable with one finger, try adding another finger and continue to work your way up. Eventually, you will be able to move up to a comfortable size for sex.
Take It Slowly
If you are bottoming for the first time you need to take things slowly. For most people having a finger, or anything up in there is a very strange and uncomfortable sensation.
Make sure you start out slowly and each time you will notice it gets a little easier. Again, make sure that your finger still has plenty of lube and follow the steps above.
Once you become comfortable with this process then you should be more comfortable with real sex.
Get the Right Supplies
You wouldn’t believe how many guys think you don’t need lube when having anal sex!
This is wrong and just plain stupid!
Having the right supplies is the most important factor of how to bottom without pain for the first time, and if you want to have comfortable and enjoyable anal sex, then you NEED to use lube. No questions.
Check Out Our Full Guide: Choosing the Best Anal Lube
Picking the right anal lube is probably the single most important aspect to having an enjoyable experience when learning how to bottom.
Luckily, there are some great lubes designed specifically for anal sex. So do yourself a favor and invest in some good quality lube.
“Having the right lube will help to make entry smoother and greatly reduce pain.”
One of my personal favorites is Pjur Analyse Me!. As the name suggests, it was designed specifically for anal play and includes an anal relaxant and mild numbing agent.
This makes learning how to bottom much easier. It also has a great consistency and is extra slippery.
I have been using this lube for years and it is an ideal choice, especially if you are just starting out or have had problems with pain in the past. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out my in-depth review.
Lube injectors are another thing to consider as they are a really great way to get lubed up quickly and easily. They act like a syringe and allow you to apply lube consistently deep inside.
It took me a long time before I started to use one, but it really makes anal sex easier and more comfortable.
To get a more realistic size for sex, you may also want to invest in a butt plug or a dildo. Butt plugs often come in trainer sets that allow you to start at a comfortable size, then slowly work your way up.
Anal Trainer Kits are probably the quickest way to loosen up and give you a gradual ease into a larger size.
Dildos are also great because they help you loosen up down there and give a much more realistic experience of what sex will actually feel like. Just remember to use a condom over your toy and wash them well after use.
For those looking for everything you need in order to learn how to bottom, I recommend taking a look at the Anal Sex Starter Kit.
It has everything you need to practice on your own and get ready for the real thing including:
- An Anal Trainer Kit
- Toy Cleaner
- Two Lube Injectors
- Pour Analyse Me Comfort Anal Lube
Packaged together you will actually save you about $40 compared to buying each separately.
If you follow these steps and practice often, then you will be on your way towards amazing anal sex. Everyone will feel some discomfort starting out, but the payoff is well worth the time and effort.
Just keep at it and soon you will be ready for the real thing.
For a more in-depth step-by-step guide, check out my new, comprehensive guide to having anal sex for the first time.
If you have any questions or would rather ask us directly feel free to email us at [email protected] or write them down in the comments below!
Do you have any tips or suggestions for how to bottom without pain? Let us know in the comments below.