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How to Know if Someone is Gay | Gaydar 101

If you want to gain a sixth sense and be an expert to know if someone is gay, then this is the article for you. Fine-tuning your gaydar takes time, patience and practice. First off, if you really want to know how to tell is someone is gay then you will have to pay close attention to details and step outside of your comfort zone.

Much of what goes into figuring out someone’s sexuality comes down to your intuition and gut feeling.  In my experience, if you are suspicious about someone being gay, then there is a good chance that you are already off to a good start. But before you get ahead of yourself there are a few basic tricks that I find are super effective if you want to know how to know if someone is gay.

 

 

How To Know if Someone is Gay

The Truth Is In The Eyes

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It doesn’t matter if you are gay, lesbian, straight, bi, or anything in between, it is in our body’s nature to display arousal through our eyes. We have all felt it.  When you are attracted to someone and get that fluttery feeling in your chest.

If you want to judge a person’s reaction then you can catch their true feelings by paying close attention to their eyes.  Whether you realize it or not, when you are sexually attracted to someone your pupils will rapidly dilate and shrink.  It is a subtle reaction but pay close attention the next time you are looking into their eyes. You might just get the reaction you are looking for.

 

Pay Attention to Who They Check Out

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This next trick is even more simple but very effective. When you think someone is hot you look right?  The next time you are in a public area pay close attention to this.

Do they turn and take a look when a hot girl comes into the room? How about a guy?  These involuntary reactions are quick so pay close attention.  The darting eyes, or this momentary fix when someone new walks into the room.  If they do a double take or  have their eyes on someone you also find attractive, chances are they are into the same-sex.

 

 Ask Him

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It has taken me a long time to finally utilize this last point but it is by far the most effective. If you are out and have a bit of confidence have a private conversation with him and pop the question, especially if you have tested the above points (also a drink or two doesn’t hurt to lighten the mood).

Most guys are surprisingly not aggressive with this.

One tip I have is to ask not, “Are you gay?” but “Are you interested in guys”. I have had a few people that came out to me long after I asked. Their excuse: that they identified as bi, so they answered no to “gay”. Just remember that at this point he might not be ready to come out and you might not get a fully honest answer. Even if you don’t get to hear what you want, this is by far the most direct and effective way to know if someone is gay.

 

Respect His Privacy

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If you do get the answer you were looking for, be respectful. He probably told you because he trusts you and may not be out to his friends and family yet. Regardless of how excited or relieved you might be, it is important that you respect his confidentiality and treat him how you would want to be treated.

 

Don’t Rely on Stereo Types

There is no one magic bullet to finding out someone’s true sexuality. The key is to follow your gut, pick up on even the subtlest cues and use good judgment. With time, you will become better and knowing if someone is gay will become second nature.

 

2 Comments

  1. ku115
    October 11, 2013 4:05 am Reply

    Hey, Matthew, first great blog with many interesting topics. On this subject, I find it informative. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Matthew Brown
    October 11, 2013 1:32 pm Reply

    Thank you for the feedback! Let me know if there are any other topics you want to hear about or questions you have.

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