Coming out of the closet is a never ending process. The first time is one of the hardest things I ever have to do. But coming out, telling your friends, family or dealing with day to day small talk seems like something you need to do for the rest of your life when in reality all you need to do is to be yourself.
What do I mean by this? Coming out is usually a serious and uncomfortable discussion when in reality, in most casual situations it doesn’t need to be an ordeal at all!
Stop “Coming Out” and Just Be Your Honest Self
Sounds easy enough right? As long as you are confident and honest then revealing to someone that you are gay should be no less fluid and natural than telling someone that you are straight!
So, you just met someone new and you are starting off with some small talk. You could be at a party, starting a new job, or getting introduced to some new friends.
You may be wondering – how can I be open, but not make things awkward?
Like I just mentioned earlier, being honest about your sexuality is super important but at the same time…
Coming out of the closet can be uncomfortable for the other person too.
Maybe they have never met a gay person – heck, even diving into your love life (gay or straight) can be an uncomfortable situation in itself.
So let them know you are gay without explicitly saying the words “I am gay!”
You Set the Tone of the Conversation
And remember, that is all it is, a conversation! So, be sure to keep it light and keep the conversation flowing!
If you are uncomfortable, they will be uncomfortable.
If you are serious, they will be serious.
If you keep it light and friendly, then they will feel the same!
If you act like its no big deal, then they won’t make it one.
Don’t Force it Out!
For Example: If they ask…
“Do you have a girlfriend?“
I don’t tip toe around the question, I answer directly.
“No, but I am dating this really awesome guy!”
“Have you been dating anyone recently?”
“I have been looking around, but haven’t found any good guys yet.”
“Wow, who is this guy in your profile photo?”
“Oh, that’s my boyfriend! We have been together for 3 months.”
Now, what’s so weird about that? They ask, you answer, it’s done, its over, and you are being yourself!
This level of comfort and sincerity will make your new friendship stronger from the get go! The fact that you are being honest up front will boost your confidence and give you a much more positive reaction in return!
Get it done, the sooner, the better.
I always try to be honest from the very first encounter, because the longer you wait to tell someone new, the harder and harder it becomes to get the words out! Generally, earlier is better ~
Be honest and be confident! If it comes up in conversation, address it head on! Be sincere, and answer honestly.
And wha-la! You just came out if the closet, without actually coming out if the closet! It may not be this smooth and easy the first time you try, or the second, but the point is to keep trying, and with each encounter, your life will get a bit easier!