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What Not to Do on a First Date

How you come across on your first time out with a new guy can make or break your chances of nailing that second date.  Looks and chemistry are very important, but after dating over the years I have noticed some things that can absolutely ruin that first encounter.  Here is a list of things to look out for to make sure that your date goes smoothly and give you a much greater chance for success.

Bring Up The Ex

As tempting as it may be, talking about your past relationships is probably the worst way to start out.  Remember, this is a time for him to learn more about YOU, not the guy you used to be with.  As important as you think a past relationship may be, this is information that should be saved for another time.  On top of this, talking about your ex is probably a good sign that you have not fully moved on.  That is probably the last thing he is looking for.  Try to imagine if he rambled on about his ex-boyfriend as you sat there uncomfortably listening.  I am sure you would probably not be too happy.

Talk About Yourself Too Much

Yes, it is good to talk about yourself, but getting to know each other is a two-way street.  Be aware of how much information each of you is sharing, strike a good balance and try not to make your conversations one-sided.  If you do notice that you are talking about yourself too much, try to ask a question.  Think of your conversation as a game of tennis, sending the focus back and forth on a regular basis.  Turning the attention back towards him will show that you are interested in hearing what he has to say, and help make your conversations more engaging.

Over-Share

Meeting someone for the first time is a time to advertise what’s good about you and why he should be interested in meeting again.  Focus on your good qualities, goals, achievements and interests instead of overwhelming him with emotional baggage.  Your goal here is to have fun and keep the mood happy and light.  Just like if you were meeting a friend for the first time you would not shower them with your family problems and personal issues.  That comes later on when you have actually built a solid relationship.  The same applies here.

Get Ahead of Yourself

As much as it may seem that you two are hitting it off, it is important to keep a cool head and take things slowly.  This means think in the short-term for the time being and let your relationship with that person build over time.  I have personally had people ask me to be their boyfriend on a first date and even talk about marriage.  Yes, I am looking for those things in the long term, but that is something very unrelated for someone that you just meet.  If you cannot be good friends with someone first, then the chances of a successful future date or eventual relationship are slim.  So take it easy.

This is in no way a complete list of everything to follow when meeting someone for the first time, but being aware of your emotions and actions will make dating more comfortable for him, giving you a better shot at making the catch.  Just remember to take things slowly, keep the conversation mutual, and save the heavy stuff for later.  If you follow these steps you’ll be increasing your chances of success substantially.

 

Loren Couse

I started MQ with the goal of answering all the questions I had about gay sex, dating and relationships when I was just starting out.If you have a question, suggestion, or are just looking to chat, feel free to message me at: info@maleq.org, check out our YouTube page, Facebook or Google+.

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