Is BDSM normal? Everyone has preconceived notions about things he or she doesn’t understand. And for those who have no real life experiences about BDSM, their concepts about it are almost entirely consumed through media outlets like news reports, romantic fictions or movies, which may or may not be very accurate.

So, if you are considering to practice BDSM or are just curious to learn more about it, you might have some questions.

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Is BDSM Normal?

I think it depends on how we define “normal”. Do we have to reach a specific percentage of population to start to be considered “normal?”

In this aspect, It’s hard to argue that BDSM is abnormal. A survey based in Australia during 2001-2002 found that 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women had been involved in BDSM in the previous year.

Another study published on The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2014 also indicated that about 64.6% of women and 53.3% of men have fantasys of being sexually dominated, meanwhile, 46.7% of women and 59.6% of men have fantasys of dominating someone.

Further more, as this data are based on self-reporting, it very well may not include those who already practice or have BDSM fantasys but did’t consider it as BDSM or those who just didn’t addmit to it.

Most of the time when I asked my friends whether or not they are interesting in BDSM, their answers are more likely to be “no” , but when I asked them in more specific terms like” Do you have fantacy of humiliating your partner while having sex?” or “Do you have fantacy of being tied up by your partner?” which, to some degree, qualifies as BDSM, some of their answers would swich to “Yes”.

So as it turns out,
the desire for BDSM is actually more common than you would think.

Is BDSM Healthy?

What if someone argues that this kind of desire is psychologically unhealthy? Well, us Kinksters may actually be psychologically healthier than average people or at the very least, not harmful according to some researchers.

This study conducted in the Netherlands by psychologists Dr.Andreas Wismeijer and Dr.Marcel van Assen from The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2013 revealed that compared to control group, BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, and had higher subjective well-being.

The aforementioned Australia-based study also concluded that “BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture, not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with ‘normal’ sex”

This isn’t to say that we can make a conclusion by any of these studies, as more research is needed, but the important thing is, in contrast to several studies supporting that BDSM is not unhealthy there is no strong evidence that BDSM is harmful nor unhealthy.

Is BDSM Dangerous?

No, at least when done properly, BDSM would not be any more dangerous than conventional sex.

Just remember these three basic principles: Safe,Sane and Consensual.

Like any other sort of sex, practicing BDSM the wrong way can be dangerous. But let’s face it – what kind of sex doesn’t have its own risks?

The myth out there that BDSM is a dangerous, horrible, high risky activity stems from some accidents which happened without at least one of these principles.

You can also use Safewords to communicate with your partner about when to stop or when to “slow down.”

Also, whenever you are going to try a new method to play with your partner, remember to first consult someone with relevant experiences and do some research about safety when you are practicingnew approach.(ex. If you are a beginner, you should not practise rope bondage without scissors or something that can cut the rope immediately if your partner feels uncomfortable).

If you are a BDSM beginner , this video from Lacy Green can give you a brief overview about BDSM:

BDSM 101

Is BDSM Considered Erotic?

It toatally depends on who you ask, if you ask someone who isn’t interested in it or who is interstied, doesn’t trigger his or her sexual arousal, then the answer would be:

“It’s obvious! BDSM is not erotic, it just another intersts like hiking, running or travling.”

But if you ask someone experienced sexual arousal during BDSM, the answer would be:

“It’s obvious! It is Erotic!”

If you want a more a general answer, there is a survey I found from Kinsey Institute Website :

12% of females and 22% of males reported erotic response to a SM story. (Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, 1953)

55% of females and 50% of males reported having responded erotically to being bitten. (Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, 1953)

And again, given that this survey is based on self-report conducted over 50 years ago which the social context might be more conservative than today, the data might be underestimated.

So there you have it. You may have undergone the agonizing process of struggling with whether or not you are gay, but you don’t have to struggle again to discovere that you are a BDSMer, it is just as normal, and interesting as your gayness!

[ Cover Image By Wiros – http://www.flickr.com/photos/91515119@N00/2762640648/, CC BY-SA 2.0, ]